I read this last week:

Mostly because a friend wrote it, but I’m also sort of fascinated by the topic.

I’m too close to it/the person to be a good judge of whether the book is good or worthwhile, but he said something in the book, and then said it again at lunch on Saturday that really sort of tweaked my brain a little bit.

Paraphrasing, “You’ve got to want it.”

I had another friend at the writer lunch who was there for the first time, so he was asking Blaze all sorts of questions (and Blaze likes to hold court). He asked Blaze how he managed to write so much, and Blaze said, “because I want to”.

And it just kind of clicked with me.

Why don’t we all write more? Because we choose to do other things.

In most cases.

I mean, I can say I want to write 4000 words a day, but when it comes down to it, do I really? If I really do, then why am I not doing it?

Some people have obligations that cut down on their available time – sick parents, kids, jobs, and the like, and, so, yeah, probably can’t write 4 hours a day to get to that 4k words/day mark.

But the rest of us could probably find the time, if that’s what we truly wanted.

And people can talk all they want about leaving time to rest/relax, etc… but without any judgement laid upon it, that’s a choice they make. It’s not good or bad, they’d just rather spend the weekend or the evening doing something other than writing.

I say I know what I want. I say I want to write, and I say I want to write a lot, but the choices I make don’t always align with what I say I want.

So what does that mean? Does that mean I’m easily distracted, or does that mean I don’t really want to spend that time writing?

I think it’s quite a bit more complex than that, but it’s difficult not to ask that question when I start thinking about what I want vs the choices I’m making.

A lot of the time, I think I’m not consciously making choices. I’m running on autopilot, and autopilot takes me where the flying is the easiest path to take in the moment, without looking further ahead to see what might end up in my way.

My goal right now is to make conscious choices about what I’m doing. I need to get off auto-pilot and start flying manual. Sure, the ride may be a little bit bumpier, but it will probably get me where I want to go, and it’ll likely be more exciting, too.